Your Middle & High School Survival Guide: Mantras & Tips for Grades 6–12
Every grade comes with its own drama: lost water bottles, hormonal mood swings, late-night essay meltdowns, prom dress debates, and approximately 47 forms that need signing in blue ink only. But if you zoom out, each year has a theme—a focus, a mantra, something to cling to when you feel like throwing the entire family calendar into the East River.
So here it is: my grade-by-grade cheat sheet of tips, themes, and little reminders to help your student (and you) get through middle and high school without losing your minds.
Grade 6: Welcome to the Jungle
Mantra: “Let them settle in.”
Sixth grade is about landing the plane. Your child is in a new school, new building, new routine—possibly with a cafeteria the size of Costco. They don’t need you worrying about 8th-grade Regents or how to get into ElRo.
Focus on: helping them feel comfortable, organized-ish, and confident navigating the newness.
Tip: This is the year to enjoy the moment. Watch them stretch their independence. Applaud when they remember their OMNY card. Try not to stress about what’s coming next—it’ll come fast enough.
Grade 7: The Plot Thickens
Mantra: “Focus on the now (but keep an eye on later).”
Seventh grade is like the warm-up act for the high school admissions process. 7th grade core grades are the ones that count for screened schools, but that doesn’t mean every night needs to be SAT boot camp. And not all schools are screened schools. But, it’s worth mentioning as this is not the year to be laissez-faire about schoolwork.
Focus on: grades, yes, but also building executive function habits—writing things down, meeting deadlines, finding a system that works for them.
Tip: Start casually imagining what kind of high school might suit your kid, but keep the focus on this year. Sign up for SHSAT prep if that suits your kiddo.
Grade 8: The Application Olympics
Mantra: “We will survive.”
Ah yes. Welcome to the year of spreadsheets, essays, and open-house sign-ups that feel like scoring Beyoncé tickets. But it’s not all applications—there’s also Regents, 8th-grade prom, graduation, and a big season of goodbyes.
Focus on: managing the admissions process without letting it swallow the year.
Tip: Organize the applications, but don’t forget the fun stuff. Celebrate those milestones. And repeat after me: this is a season, not a life sentence.
Grade 9: Freshman Fog
Mantra: “Explore and engage.”
Ninth grade is usually a relief—no more applications! Now it’s about settling in and building good habits.
Focus on: figuring out the building, the routines, the study habits.
Tip: Encourage them to join a club, try a sport, audition for the play, volunteer, maybe even snag a summer job. This is the year to dabble—explore interests and find their people.
Grade 10: The Sneaky Important Year
Mantra: “Lean into what’s real.”
Sophomore year is where the stakes quietly rise. Grades start to matter more for college, and activities do too—but they should be genuine, not résumé-padding.
Focus on: keeping grades strong, maybe trying an AP if it’s interesting and manageable, and exploring activities of real interest.
Tip: If college testing is in the future, start thinking about SAT prep.
Grade 11: Pressure Cooker Season
Mantra: “Work hard, but stay human.”
Junior year has a reputation—and yes, it’s busy. But it’s also a chance for growth, exploration, and laying the foundation for what’s next.
Focus on: good grades, meaningful activities, test prep, and exploring colleges/career paths. Talk to a career expert. Visit schools. Go to a college fair.
Tip: Create a shared parent/student email just for college correspondence—it’ll save everyone’s sanity. And remind your teen to also enjoy their friends, weekends, and the occasional slice of joy.
Grade 12: The Curtain Call
Mantra: “Savor it (and check your email).”
Senior year is full of deadlines, celebrations, and more college PR mailers than anyone should have to recieve. It’s a balancing act: having fun while staying on top of the details.
Focus on: meeting deadlines, staying in touch with the counselor, keeping grades up (yes, colleges do see your final grades).
Tip: Take lots of pictures, even if your teen resists. They’ll thank you later.
Final Word for Parents
Every grade has its “thing,” but here’s the through-line: support your kid, protect your own peace, and don’t let this whole academic rollercoaster rob you of the joy in watching them grow up.
Because one day you’ll look up, and that wide-eyed sixth grader with the oversized backpack will be walking across a graduation stage—and you’ll wish you could go back and relive even the messy bits.
